How to Write a Maddox Article/Rant
Writing an article like Maddox (www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net) takes a high level of skill. Not everyone can write like him or take a mundane subject and make it into a witty rant as he does every single day...or every other week, whatever. Anyway, so it seems like a fruitless endeavor for me to write this article, but maybe there is someone out there who can take my tip sheet and clone the mighty pirate success of Maddox...maybe?
Here is how to write a Maddox-like article:
1) Get Angry
2) Swear A lot
3) Be Politically Incorrect But Righteous
4) Point Out Flaws In Retards's's Logic
5) Repeat How Awesome You Are
Here is a (partial) dissection of
an article written by Maddox entitled,
"There is no 9/11 conspiracy you morons."
Excerpt: "I win. There is no conspiracy. Eat my shit, losers."
1) Note how angry Maddox is. He
called everyone losers. A clearly angry pirate.
2) He say's "Shit." That's a swear word right? They made a big deal out of it on
South Park.
3) Maddox is being righteous in the above sentence by defending the 9/11 victims
by calling the conspiracy nut-fucks, "losers."
4) Maddox points out the conspiracy theorists flaws, by saying "There is no
conspiracy." Plain, simple and to the point.
5) He clearly says, "I win." Therefore pointing out how awesome he is.
I hope this tutorial isn't too vague. Let me give you an example of an article I wrote in this style.
"Ubuntu is stupid you assholes.
Why do people think Ubuntu is great? Man
it sucks like horseshit. Fuck
you guys. You are all retarded.
I'm awesome you're not.
Microsoft rocks."
1) Anger 2) Swearing 3) Righteousness 4) Point Out Flaws 5) Repeat How Awesome You Are
Obviously my very short article is not up to par with the great Maddox, but you get my point. Now get writing!