11 Reasons Why Keanu Reeves Is Better Than You

11) Keanu once worked for Dracula -- and survived!

10) Keanu's annual income is greater than 54,000 people living in India combined.

9) Keanu knows Kung-fu.

8) Keanu knows the true secret behind planet earth (it's run by robits).

7) Keanu once had sex with 500 women in one day -- and that was after finishing masturbating for several hours!

6) Keanu played a game of chess with death -- and then kicked the shit out of him after he loss.

5) Keanu's penis is longer than Adrien Brody's nose.

4) Keanu can say the alphabet backwards.

3) Keanu knows Karate.

2) When Keanu kries it rains.

1) Keanu uses the internet but doesn't believe 9/11 was a conspiracy.

By J. Cho

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